pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
