That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
