I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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