Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
