I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
