Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize