I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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