Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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