just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
