Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
