I can tuck mytits in my pants
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
