I puked a lego.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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