i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Randomize
