She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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