There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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