Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
