babies were throwing up all over the place
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
