I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
