Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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