i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
