im drinking this country out of the recession.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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