You work out of a Hotel?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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