you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
