I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
