i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
