just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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