So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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