I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
