absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
