you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
