I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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