Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize