she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize