Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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