It's just like the Real World with babies
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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