I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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