i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
