none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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