Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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