SEEEEXXX PLEASE
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
