Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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