She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize