ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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