you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We have started to decorate penises.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Randomize
