your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
