Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
