so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
