Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I am naked and annoyed.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
