dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
