thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
