If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
4 words: hood of his car
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
