just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
