I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
