is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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