Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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