he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
