Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
