Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
