I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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