I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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