Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
