i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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