im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize