Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
