matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
it's like iHOP with fire
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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