the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
