My liver just broke up with me...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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