Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He? As in you personified your dick?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
