their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize