Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
