you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize