Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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